he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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