We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
