evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
