things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
