i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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