She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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