She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
