i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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