you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
