What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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