Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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