turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
