It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
