I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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