she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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