I should be sponsored by Trojan
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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