There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
