well you can't waste a boner
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
