grandma shit on top of the toilet
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
