did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You have to summon your inner elephant
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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