i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
