I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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