hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
