note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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