how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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