Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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