If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Randomize
