her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
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Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
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I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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