so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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