At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
