Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
