Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
