The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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