Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My life is pants optional.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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