the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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