Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You were trust falling into bushes
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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