like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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