either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Enjoy the penises
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
