im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
