I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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