I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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