Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
