im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Less talking, more tequila
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize