That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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