she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
