She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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