nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
