Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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