we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
