i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
They have beer where we have blood.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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