so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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