So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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