okay pat passed out under dana's car
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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