Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize