careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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