Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
