Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
