and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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