it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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