She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
