If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
