and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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