Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
