I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
