Ambien. No doubt about it.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize