I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
