You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
