OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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